While my mind is everywhere right now, I want to focus in this early afternoon, focus on what has been on my mind and having me singing all morning.
So I saw him this past weekend, yes him. I was more elated at the fact than the reality, the fact that I saw him. It seemed to be unspeakable energy between us, times I'm told that maybe one day he'll grow bold. But I feel what is sure to come, nevertheless....
I found it odd how he seemed to play me off sometimes, like he had forgotten about our time spent together. But then I remember that he didn't. My psychic energies tell me that he hides his feelings that are very true, not just the feelings but the consciousness, although I question whether he knows as much about our existence as I do.
My psychic energies also tell me that I am catching up to him. How unimaginable, that I am not the only one daydreaming about our future together. I thought he was the hindrance, then I thought I was. But I think I just don't know and I have to let the energy flow when we are on the same page, wavelength or the sort. I see him and I can't even look in his eyes. We both were more open that night, but I refrained then too. I have to be sure though, and now I am sure, but is he?
See this thing we call an emotional rollercoaster is very real and we and the ultimate creator are spinning the wheels. See my God created this beautiful world with much Love, Peace, Harmony and passion flowing into it. We have those abilities and free-flowing energy within us, however, reaching its zenith is both a powerful choice, and an elusive one. Are you sure this is what you want...are you sure?
My ancestors will continue to ask me this question as I sift through everyday's rememberances with my thoughts and prayers about him, about being with him. If you're reading right now baby boy, I'm talking to you. How immature I am to get upset with you for not knowing how I feel. Or feeling like the things you do are to purposely hurt me. If they are, it is no need for that and that tension should cease to exist. You think I don't feel you when you send your energy out, our thoughts intermingling. I wake up and feel as if I just saw you, or will see you.
Is it real?
Is this real because I only see it in my dreams. I saw it that night, you continue to try and hide it but I have no regard for how I feel inside. Not only will I try to be there, I am there, I have everything you need right here. Why don't you come and let our love blossom together, you and me forever. I may sound as if I live in fairy tales but that's what I see when I look at you, my escape. Why don't you be my escape. Why don't you be my roadmap to a better world, fetch me like a squirrel, and lead me astray....to my Destiny.
I feel that you were the man created for me, I know in my heart what is real and I know you sometimes deny the feeling. "He can't control it." Is that why you walk away, is that why you feel me stare and act like you then don't feel anything there? Is that why you taught me to be more elusive, to catch up with you? Is that why you have magnetised me? I see it times three, I feel it in the free, the free of you and me.
I get over one obstacle and there comes another, can't live with loving you like a brother, only like a lover. Like the soul of your mother, a love like no other. I read and weep about my strengths, there is no place more sacred on this earth than being with her, with me, my guardian, Spiritual ancestry you see. She guides me, she guides us. We are the embodiment of wisdom, with knowledge of this earth you walk upon. We are one, and we are here, to claim you without fear. Had I been all the way there, maybe I would have grabbed you and kissed you on the dance floor, no sense in hiding it. But I remain guarded, fiully knowing and feeling that after this trip (to outer space), we'll see what's real baby. They all want you, but I need you. I want your body, but need your mind. I finally had the urge to have more sex with you, but I know it was real because my body wouldn't register until my mind was healed. No anomosity towards the ones that want you to themselves. I have you to myself, as I need you. Do you need me? Make you need me, but you'll see...I can see sometimes when you look at me with those sensual eyes, more than lust in your desires. You long to be touched, to hold, to be held. I long to swell your mind and penis with thoughts of me, sheer ecstasy. Our love making is to be a sweet creation, a spiritual exchange of two heavenly bodies. You are the stars and I am your atmosphere. Do you feel me baby, I am sending this out to you. No matter what you do, you can't escape what's true. No matter what you do, you can't escape how I'm feeling about you. Confusion clouded my memory, my own attitude giving way to doubt. However, whenever, just like last time, now it's your time to figure me out. Do you know I want you, try not to care, try not to stare, while there's another there. And I saw you looking plenty of times, from across the room. And this time, it was my spirit's eyes, that were on you. Please don't think of the others, they can't do you like I do. Right now, at this time, time and forever, I am calling out to you. Baby, can you hear me.
Come with me to reach our frequency. It's somewhere heaven-sent. I am no longer ashamed or afraid to show my love, give me one hint and I will meet you above.
Please baby, if we haven't already let's complete it, and reach...our frequency......