Yeah, I thought so.
Many years have passed and Eye thought that these men were playing. No doubt they were, but the realization has hit me: Eye have never been ready for Love. Scared of that emtion....but how?
See, its because of the lack of control Eye possess over the cosmic energy between two Souls. Eye feel my heart chakra blocked, because Eye am cutting myself from this energy. Though Eye feel that Eye fall way into divinity's place. Eye am not trying to be perfect, never claimed to be. But Love is going to make me surrender. Could it be secretly that Eye feel Eye don't possess the qualities of a Lover to Love me...though Eye am Love. A Love Chile. That realization is what brought me to this one; give thanks for revelations.
Eye feel like Eye forgot what Love was sometime back in 2008. So maybe Eye need to travel there in my dreams to get my Love back. A man took some of me that Eye have yet to retrieve, and though Eye repressed those emotions, they are here to surface and Eye must face the right now! Eye will write him a letter.
Eye put so much of my heart and Soul here and wonder if this is why Eye feel a piece of me is missing sometimes. But in actuality, it's several pieces of me scattered and honestly, that is what makes me who Eye am. Focusing on clearing my heart, working with Jasmine and fluorite to cleanse my heart; have her smile again. Eye cannot carry this weight and heal others. Eye must function from the Cosmos and go there, channel that when Eye heal and release all Eye heal back to the Creator for neutralizing. Thank you Cosmas...your child has spoken and you have listened.