Take it in stride...is what the elders tell me
To listen to what others may have to say but still, to make my own decisions. Not that I feel that the best interest of my soul may not be in the hearts of others. But only I know the true interest of my soul.
I’ve been bold for some time now.
Although I cry, I still have the strength of Great Kings and Queens
I know you shall never forsake me.
My thoughts feel scattered at times like this and I need to repent. To myself.
I need to relent. To myself.
I have to search for the answer. Inside of myself. That is the only place I will find true serenity. Through deep meditation and re-creation of my thoughts, of self.
Why do I feel unworthy? Why do I feel doubt, anger, fear?
These are emotions that I have been conditioned to accept as a part of a life in the depths of hell, America.
I know that this is not the way to be yet daily I am fighting to not be sucked in by the masses.
Only the strong go crazy, for an Outcast I am and always will be.
Never will the others understand, I don’t even understand all of my power yet
Even I don’t understand the ramifications or limitations I set for myself as a Spiritual being.
Isn’t my Soul Evolution calling.
And my insides are brawling, and I am waiting to be touched.
I am waiting, but left waiting because I am not sure exactly what I want.
I know I am not ready for the commitment of love ties. Or the headaches of true lies.
But isn’t love supposed to be a beautiful bliss?
I have to learn to cherish, in the moment.
If I could have no worries for tomorrow, or naysays for yesterdays, maybe I would be okay?
That is the question of life? I am stuck trying to find balance, and that is what I need.
If I could balance between life, love, outer beauty, inner soul evolution and peaceful resolution. Then maybe, just maybe….
Would I be alright?